Expedition No. 7 - CALIFORNICATION

Hutch stood hands on hips in the evening twilight, transfixed by the gigantic letters now illuminated on a nearby hillside.

“So this is the famous Hollywood,” he mused aloud. “I wonder what one does here after the sun goes down.”

Scarcely had the words left his lips when a sultry voice purred at him from behind. “Well, gee whizz. Aren’t you just the fine gentleman.”

Hutch turned. His eyes widened as they drank in the figure of a shapely woman in an elegant white dress,her platinum blonde hair cascaded down to her shoulders.The vision spoke again. “Why don’t I show you around?” It sounded more of an instruction than a question, and Hutch was only too happy to oblige.

One limousine ride later he found himself in cheese heaven. “Are you ready for your close-up, Mr Hutchinson?” asked his new actress friend – without the hint of a bishop in sight – before spreading a cracker wantonly with cream cheese and popping it into her guest’s mouth.

Hutch ruminated. “Is that…?”

“Cranberry and Citrus, yes,” she whispered. “Isn’t it gorgeous? Couldn’t you just stuff a turkey with it?”

“It’s beginning to taste a lot like Christmas, I’ll grant you,” said Hutch. “Would go down well with a Chardonnay, fruity Pinot Noir or Cabernet Sauvignon too. Full bodied, naturally.”

“Naturally,” said the actress, leaning in towards him.

Hutch immediately sprang to his feet. “Well hooray for Hollywood,” he exclaimed, sneaking another cracker topped with the delicious cream cheese. “Alas, I must away.”

“So soon?” pouted the actress, with her very best pout it must be said. “Maybe you could come back and see me sometime?” she added hopefully.

Hutch grinned a cheesy grin as he grabbed his coat. “If you have anything this exquisite on the menu in future, my dear, I’ll be happy to return as often as you like!”